Circles

Somehow, I find myself writing these seven words: Grace is a senior in high school.

I look at the cover photo for this blog page, and it makes me smile to think that I saw her running with the same joyful abandon as in that picture several times this weekend - on Saturday at her field hockey tournament and on Sunday at her lacrosse game. But the thing is - this weekend she also attended the 18th birthday party for one of her close friends, and drove herself there.

Nothing changes… everything changes…

BloghcrosbykowalSeptember 9, 2019ASL, sign language, vestibular migraine, cochlear implants; teens with CIsComment

Sign Language 2.0

There were quite a few reasons Grace was determined to go to W___ High School. She was excited about the opportunity to play on the lacrosse team. She was really excited about enrolling in the biomedical pathway of the Science, Math and Technology Academy there. She was also looking forward to shifting foreign languages from Spanish to American Sign Language (ASL), which we had heard was offered as a language option at W___.

BloghcrosbykowalMarch 25, 2017ASL, pigeon sign, learning to sign Comments

Fourteen

This past Sunday, Grace turned fourteen years old. That day, she had a lacrosse game (her team won, yay!). That night, we got to dig in to her birthday dinner: she requested steak, pierogis, potato latkes, avocadoes, and, for dessert, eclairs. This list of items makes me smile, as it wraps up both sides of her family heritage, as well as her now-favorite pastry, the preference for which was locked in on our recent trip to France during spring break.

BloghcrosbykowalApril 22, 2016cochlear implants; teens with CIs Comments

Being Heard

At the end of her fifth grade year, Kali learned from her language arts teacher about a city-wide essay writing competition for DC students. Kali decided to enter. The subject of the competition that year was to write about “something unfair that has happened to you.” Kali’s essay was called “Being Heard.” Here’s how it starts...

Choices

Anyone who spends time talking to or reading about parents who opt for cochlear implantation for their children becomes accustomed to hearing one particular sentiment expressed over and over again: "We wanted to give our child choices."

BloghcrosbykowalNovember 30, 2015cochlear implants; deaf identity; choices in communicationComment

My People

When I was first introduced to Facebook, I was not a fan. “I hate Facebook,” I would say to my husband. “Why do I care about what someone I barely know from high school ate for dessert?”

BloghcrosbykowalOctober 29, 2015online community, social support Comments

You Gotta Have Friends

Social situations are hard for people with CIs. They are going to be hard for Grace. We heard this so many times when she was young. Keeping up with conversations on playgrounds, in cafeterias, at noisy parties, is going to be an ongoing challenge for your kid.

Six Days Post-Surgery

Surgery is never fun. It feels awfully good to have it behind us.

The Bright Side

am not the most optimistic person on the planet. I have been known to expect the worst. This is easier for me than thinking everything is going to be great and then being disappointed.

Goodnight Grace

My mistake... Nights are long and strange when you have a new baby. It’s such a gigantic adjustment, bringing this little person home and figuring out how to take care of her while still getting enough rest to do your job as a parent.

DIZZY

Last spring, Grace came down with a stomach bug. Or, that’s what it seemed like at the time. It started with a headache, and dizziness and nausea. Then she got sick to her stomach. It didn’t last too long, so we assumed it was a 24 hour thing. We all waited to catch whatever it was that she had. But none of us did.

Genetics, GATTACA, and Grace

This just in. Here is One Of Those Moments. It is a sort of epilogue to the piece I wrote many months ago, called Knowing Grace. Grace is studying genetics (my favorite subject!) in science class. She went in a little over-prepared, because in my geeky excitement over the years I’d already taught her about Punnett squares, and basic concepts like the differences between recessive and dominant genes.

BloghcrosbykowalFebruary 12, 2015deaf identity, deafness, hearing parents of deaf children, genetic deafness, bioethicsComment

Tia Sio

When I was in my mid-twenties, I moved to Washington, DC for graduate school. My decision to come here had a lot to do with who was here already – Jason had moved down a year earlier, and my youngest brother, Ben, was in DC for college.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Grace and I were watching The Voice the other day. She loves that show. During one of the performances, she saw me wince. “Why’d you do that, mom?” she asked.

“Because,” I said, “He missed a note.”

After a pause, she whispered to me, like she was letting me in on a little secret, “I can’t hear the difference.”

Bear Cubs

We do not have a coffee table in our living room. We own a coffee table, and it is perhaps one of the nicest, coolest pieces of furniture we’ve got. But it is upstairs in the guest room. The reason there’s no coffee table in our living room is that two bear cubs live in our house.

BloghcrosbykowalOctober 22, 2014Barbie dolls, strong girls, tomboys Comments

Pulling You Out of the Shadows

The girls and I were out having dinner last night, when I spotted an old college classmate of Jason’s. She asked what I was up to? How was work? “I’m not working much right now,” I told her. “But I’m writing a lot.” She asked what I was writing. I tripped over words, trying to find the best, short explanation.

“She’s writing a book about ME!” said Grace. I cringed.

Kali was sitting quietly in her seat.

BloghcrosbykowalSeptember 29, 2014hearing siblings, siblings of special needs children Comments

Cousin Time

Jason’s brother Adam and his wife, Christine, were married a year after we were. Grace is the first of our kids. Casey was born about a year later. Another year, then Kali, and ten months after that came Charlie. Four cousins: girl, boy, girl, boy, each a year apart.

One Ear Two Ear Old Ear New Ear

Over the past decade, it has become standard practice to implant deaf children bilaterally (that is, on both sides), but this was not always the case. When our family was going through the implant candidacy process, it was customary to only implant one side, even when, like Grace, the recipient had a profound hearing loss in both ears.

BloghcrosbykowalSeptember 7, 2014Aqua+ accessory, bilateral cochlear implant Comments

Starting Seventh Grade

Grace started her second year of Middle School yesterday. She knows how to take the bus. She knows her way around the building. She’s got a lot of friends. She was still nervous, though – nervous enough not to be able to take more than a couple of bites of her pumpkin bread. Usually she eats three whole pieces of pumpkin bread.

BloghcrosbykowalAugust 26, 2014504 plan, classroom accommodations Comments

Knowing Grace – Culture, Identity, and Evolution

We live in Washington, DC, where we are fortunate to have access to many resources for deaf children and their families. One of these was the parent infant program, called PIP, at Gallaudet University, where we were welcomed with warmth and understanding when Grace was a baby. In the midst of my overwhelming sense of loss and confusion, and my struggle over how best to help my daughter, I had, in the Deaf community, an option for solace.

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